Something’s been bothering me lately – something’s been stopping me… Stopping me from doing what I really want to do – something I kept finding and making excues for that would keep me from starting.
On having a conversation with those close to me, they all said the same one thing. “So, Lee, What EXACTLY is stopping you?” The question even cropped up in a couple of State side business conference call meetings too. You are more than capable they said, you have the skills they said, you have a proven track record that you can do this and have a lot to offer – “So, Lee, What EXACTLY IS stopping you?”
The answer – ME! It was Me that was stopping Me – nothing else, no one else, no excuses – it was just Me!
Me and my confidence – that is all that is stopping me.
I say all, when you don’t have the confidence to do something it really is a big deal – it’s all you think about, worry about, stress about and yes, even beat yourself up about – it is all consuming and it just ends up being one big vicious circle where you go round and round and round in circles and still end up not starting.
Digging even deeper – talking to myself and those that I value and trust, I began to ask myself yet more questions – what EXACTLY was the confidence issue. To say I did a lot of thinking about this, and what path I was to take at this cross-roads is an understatement – for the last fortnight I have tossed, tussled and questioned myself more than at any other time in my life.
I’ve never been one to shy away, certainly not from hard work or getting a job done and I have enough stickability and determination not to let anything beat me – usually! I’ve had a ton of challenges in my life and I consider myself to be resourceful and resilient – usually!
Although I find it a little scary standing up in front of people at our Welshot Photographic Academy Events – building, growing and continually developing a business is not something that I have let my fears scare me into not getting started. A few nerves and fears are often a good thing – it means we care.
This however is something a little more than nervous butterflies.
This was me not wanting to start something because I WAS Me!
How stilly, stupid and ridiculous is that – because I am Me, I didn’t want to do what it is I want to do the most – because, it meant putting myself out there – warts and all, for the whole entire world to see – ok, so, maybe not the whole entire world but certainly those who choose to folllow along with me on my adventure of…
Those digging in deeper conversations with myself led me to a realisation of WHY I hadn’t started. It was because I was uncomfortable with myself, how I looked, how I sounded, how I expressed myself on camera, how I spoke… You name it, I could find a fault with myself in every second of video footage filmed – and heaven help it if I was caught on camera without my makeup on…
YET! I go about my daily life, private and in public, without makeup on… ALL. THE. TIME!
Again, sitting down and talking it over with those I trust, then really thinking about it some more, then, finally talking some more made me realise and rationalise that we all feel like this in some way shape or form – and the things we notice about ourselves that make us cringe and skirmish are just our little peculiarities that make us, us.
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive that is you-er than you!
Dr. Seuss – American Author
The conclusion of all this thinking and talking was, if I want to do something I am just going to have to do it – I can’t suddenly morph into Cindy Crawford, Oprah Winfrey, Rachel Hunter or Kirsty Young – I talk like I talk, I look like I look and my mannerisms are what they are and, they are, to the people who know Me, what makes Me, Me.
Life is never going to be perfect, I am never going to be perfect, situations are never going to be perfect, so, if I want to do something my mantra, from now on, has to be…
Done Is Better Than Perfect
To cut a very long story short – I’ve been set a challenge. The challenge will help me on my own journey of personal development – help me to become more confident in my presentation skills, more confident in talking to large crowds and, more importantly, more confident in front of the camera – both stills and video, live and pre-recorded. The challenge will help me to think, prepare and focus, not only on what I want to do but also on how I want to present and represent The Kiwi Social to those that would benefit.
The Challenge – To do a FIVE minute stand-up comedy routine in a pub – with people in the audience.
This challenge will, over the next 20 to 21 weeks, see me keeping a blog, vlog, podcast and doing a series of Facebook (and Instagram) LIVES and Stories – showing what I’m doing and learning to prepare myself for this momentous and nerve wracking experience – all aimed to get myself more confident in presenting, both on camera and on stage.
I do hope you will follow me on this journey – maybe it will help you in some way, maybe it will inspire you to start your own journey and do something you’ve always wanted to do.
Photo Credits: Gill McGowan